February 25, 2011

I'm sad.

I was in an okay mood this morning but now I just want to cry. Nothing happened to make me feel this way. What's wrong with me? :(

For some reason I feel, almost, home sick. I miss my sister and I miss having a family. I miss being a child - when the world was so easy, so happy. I miss having close friends. I just want to laugh so hard I cry and party so hard I puke.

Do you ever ask yourself, "what's the point?"

I'm 20 - something and have already been through so much bad stuff in my life. When does it get better? Does it ever get easier? What is my point in life? Why am I here? What am I supposed to do with my life? I don't know. I don't think I will ever know.

I'm a loser. I'm selfish. I'm childish. I'm ugly. I'm fat.
I'm going nowhere in life. I'm a failure. I have nothing.

Summer is coming and I'm still so fat. 113 isn't acceptable, I've lost next-to-nothing in the past few months. Rico probably thinks I'm disgusting. My job sucks and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to be happy! Please, can't I just be happy?
When will I fade away.......